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I was robbed! Three times!

This Entry Was Transfered from our Legacy Site’s “War Stories Forum”

Remember how they briefed you upon arrival about not taking your restricted area badge, ID card or credit cards with you when you wandered into the night in Udorn Thani?

Well, one night, after flight and a typically long 15 or 16 hour work day, I decided to go deep into the heart of Udorn to the hotel I liked to frequent, for some monkey balls, raw cabbage (outside at monkey ball stand) and creamed corn soup and a large bottled coca-cola (inside at the hotel restaurant). All was well in mudville.

After I left the hotel by 5 Baht Samlar, I took a short tour of the various fun spots that Udorn Thani was famous and renown for...at least outside of Air America’s circle of dens of sin.

At one small hotel (the name eludes me, but it was all marble inside and the entrance was curved around the corner of a dirt street) I stopped to practice my Thai on a young lady that I must have confused with a language specialist, and proceeded to consume a few libations, some offered by my table guest.

The next waking moment I had was finding myself sans my clothes, except my shorts, in a dark room of the aforementioned hotel.

My socks, where I had usually, cleverly hidden my considerable valuables, (read restricted area badge, ID and Shell credit card) were mysteriously empty, my shoes (another genius hiding place) were also empty. In a vain attempt to regain my composure and therefore my identity and to determine the day and time, I quickly glanced to my left wrist...where I was sure I had left my Seiko Bell-matic and lo and behold..it too was missing.

Well, what the hell was a young Hillsboro weapons controller to do....Of course, I naturally proceeded into the long carpeted hall of the hotel, clad only in my boxers, and commenced to yell that I had been robbed. To whom I was yelling it wasn’t quite clear then, but in retrospect it did help to clear my foggy, mickied brain enough for it to dawn on me that being robbed was just the beginning of my problem.

For some reason the missing forbidden contents of my wallet became my greatest fear. What if some communist slug was to show up somewhere trying to get access to an AF restricted area and be caught with my badge? What if some yard boy was to get caught at the BX buying a refrigerator or air conditioner with my ID card? And God forbid...what if some Thai yahoo was to run up a fortune on my Shell credit card?

I was definitely in a world of sh--, and all because I was just trying to practice my Thai.

My next sortie into the underworld of the SEA conflict was a daytime raid into Udorn Thani armed with my super 8 camera and a Minolta reflex still camera.

There I was, a typical nondescript American GI, almost undetectable in my blue jeans, tee shirt and sneakers. I set about recording all the sights and sounds of the Udorn streets, hotels, Monkey House, race track, train station, klongs and of course the market and theater.

Late that evening, having documented for my children all the wonders of Udorn and its environs, I was just stepping onto a Baht bus back to the base and had removed my wallet to pay the driver for my ride home. While standing in the door well, wallet in hand, out of the corner of my right eye, I saw this blur of a figure as he leaped onto the bottom step of the open doorway. Quite to my surprise..he filtched my wallet clean out of my hand and in a second blur of speed departed the same bottom step of the open doorway.

For a millisecond, I inventoried my wallet in my mind’s eye. 2000 Baht, 20 US dollars, pictures, and damn it to hell...my new restricted area badge, and new ID card, but, thank God...no shell credit card..(I never replaced the last one).

Well, I quickly assessed the situation and jumped off the departing Baht bus in full chase after this dastardly, communist, restricted area badge filtching, ID card thief! About 500 meters into the chase with camera bags and cameras flopping around, crushing my hip and smashing my ribs, I witnessed a man actually run on top of water as my thieving dirtbag traversed a huge klong like he had webbed feet.

Since I was neither equipped nor trained in over or under water pursuit I decided to yell at the top of my lungs.. “Come back here you communist bastard!” Somehow this verbal order from an American Airman, who was there to save them from the nighmare all around them, was disregarded.

For the second time, I was in a world of sh-- and all because I was just trying to pay my way home.

My third incident of being relieved of my valuables occurred at 23,000 ft. There I was, soaring above the surly bonds of earth, headset on, listening to the sounds of war...when comm comes up on private intercom. “Slow Ops you got a call from Sergeant Webb back at Udorn”. Well, what the heck would Jack be calling about...an emergency back home, promotion, maybe they found my ID card?

I came up on the radio patch to the squadron and the first words I heard were “Hey Dave, we’ve been robbed!” Within the blink of an eye, I retrieved my wallet from my flight suit and confirmed my ID card was still there, I also had my badge and I no longer had any credit cards, so for some reason, I was calm.

“Who, what, where, how did it happen?” I asked. To this day, I have never heard anything as funny as what SSgt Walter E. (Jack) Webb then said to me. “I was gassed” he replied. I started to laugh, not too sure of what he had said, but it sounded so funny...I said “Gassed? What do you mean..gassed?”

He replied “I was asleep in the hootch, (in this case he was talking about a bungalow we shared downtown) and they got into my bedroom and gassed me before I could react. All I saw was faint shadows as they went about the room and robbed me of everything I had”.

“But you said “WE’VE been robbed"”, I said. “What do you mean WE” He said “Well, evidently after they left me semi-conscious in my room they went about the house and burglarized your room and the kitchen, living room and even the clothes the house girl had drying on the clothes line. They even got my motorcycle that I had chained to a post in the living room” he said.

By this time, I had stopped laughing. “Did they get my cameras?” I said. “Yup.” Was the reply. “My film canisters, albums?” “Yup.” “My clothes?” I said weakly. “Roger that. They even got my Chevas!” he said, dejectedly.

“But, wait a second, what happened to the shotgun carrying Thai guard we employed in the compound?” I asked. “Can’t be found.” He replied. “And the german shepherd dog the owner had in the compound?” I asked. “Poisoned!” he said, flatly.

At least I wasn’t there, I thought as I registered robbery number three and I won’t have to give some lame excuse to the commander about the loss of another restricted area badge and ID.

Moral of this story? Pay attention to FNG briefings and don’t leave a guy with a Dragnet name in charge of your sh--. Gassed… my a--.

Dave Butson
Hillsboro ‘72-’73

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Circles in the Sky

Ray Roddy has completed his masterpiece.

Circles in the Sky - The Secret War in Southeast Asia - A Command and Control Perspective

Click Here to order from the publisher - or if you'd like a signed copy, contact me at ray.roddy@gmail.com. I will have to order 20 books at a time from Infinity to avoid double shipping charges. I will sign them as per request and mail them ASAP in a padded mailer with tracking information.

Thanks,
Ray Roddy

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